Bottles, Boobs, and Invisible Rules

I have discovered something amazing. A breast pump. A novel concept, no?

Before I had Lainie, I thought-- Breastfeeding, there's nothing better. It's going to be so simple, easy and way portable! I won't have any issues at all. Tra la la!

Enter--real life. 

Now, I won't complain about it, too much. It is a wonderful thing. The baby gets all the good milks from the mamas and she's well nourished and we're bonding, all good things. Here are a few of the more unpleasant aspects as I have recently discovered them.

A #1. I am fairly large chested. Add my milk and they're double huge. This creates quite a challenge when trying to feed my wee babe.  I must continually be very careful not to smother my sweet one, which then leads me to my next point.

B #2. I have horrible posture already, add in breastfeeding and you can just call me Quasimodo. While I'm attempting to keep my child breathing and feeding at the same time, this inevitably puts me in the position to develop a fantastic hunchback. And so far, any attempt to correct this posture hurts worse than the bad posture itself, so I tend to give in and slump. (Don't say the word 'chiropractor' to me, that costs $$, and well, that's not a luxury I can afford at the moment.)

C #3. Night feedings---'nuff said. Put the top two elements with a tired mama and what do you get? At least 3 out of the 7 Dwarfs, and Happy isn't one of them. He will be replaced by Slouchy in any dramatic productions that follow.

So what am I to do about this you ask? Well, thanks to one generous friend who isn't using her pump at the present time, I have a breast pump to use. Woot! This makes me happy, for sure and certain. I have discovered how nice it is to pump for 5 minutes and have a 1 hour feeding session cut down by half at least! Plus, I get to see just how much she's eating! Now, I cannot guarantee she's eating as much off me as I pump, but I think it stands to reason that I wouldn't be producing as much as I am if she wasn't. 

So we are living a double life. Half bottle, half boob. And she's taking it quite well. *incoming TMI* I think it has to do with the fact that I am using a nipple shield at the moment. She can adjust a little easier back and forth this way. Although, I do hope for a day when we can lose that helpful piece. 

I do want to say I have issues. Haha. Isn't that an understatement? In a previous post, I mentioned how I dislike "guess what I heard happened to a friend of mine" stories from other parents. Those are never a good thing for me. I feel as though they have had something to do with the "LIST OF INVISIBLE RULES" I have found in my head. 

Such as...

1. Breast feeding is the only option. And you must do it skin to skin. Otherwise your baby will hate you.

2. Your baby must eat every 2-4 hours and if she doesn't she will starve. Thank you, Hospital Nurses for that one.

3. Formula babies aren't as smart as breastfed babies. Now, this one apparently has some clout but since we're living a double life anyway--I figure she'll at least be halfway intelligent. 

My main point here is, I am wondering where all of these rules came from and why can't I break free of them? I honestly feel shackled to them sometimes and often I have to remind myself that I have a healthy baby girl and she is eating, pooping, and sleeping. Those are all really good things for a baby to be doing. It seems crazy to me that other people's opinions on this subject have been so drilled in my mind that I can't get around these "rules"! Well you know what rules...I quit you. That's right, you're dead to me. 

And now for a cute picture of my bebe.