One Month Worries

Our little LadyBug is one month old!

And for her birthday, we went to see the lactation specialist! Yahoo! There was much fun had by all. Lainie particularly had a good time. She really enjoyed the part where she finally got to eat, her favorite pass time.

So here's the scoop. She's fine. We're fine. Yea, she could be a better 'suckler' ...but she's fine. Mommy's the one with the issues. Go figure. 

Do you know the ole' adage, "If it isn't broken, don't fix it."? I've re-vamped it... 

"If it isn't broken, break it. Now you have to fix it." 

For example: Lainie is sleeping in a bouncer. She is sleeping well in a bouncer. She would cause envy in a mother's heart whose child doesn't sleep through the night. But she doesn't sleep in her crib. Now I think I have to get her to sleep in her crib. Some way, some how, she's going to be sleeping in her crib or I'll never rest! I mean, why should I let my sleeping child have a good nights sleep if I can mess it all up by trying to get her to sleep on her back in her wasteland of a crib where she feels no comfort? Lunacy, I tell you.

Another example: Lainie nurses well. She nurses long, but she nurses well. Somehow I've gotten it into my head that she should only nurse for a few minutes and be completely satisfied. This is completely impossible. For one thing, we've been supplementing with formula to rid her body of the jaundice. However, now that we've fought that battle, we've gotten ourselves into a whole different mess. She's EXTRA hungry. Or maybe she's just normal hungry, but my body doesn't know it because we've given her formula instead of letting her nurse for the extra. Perhaps you can see the dilemma we're in. I can't nurse her 24 hours a day (although it feels like I do sometimes) and I can't naturally keep her satisfied as of yet. I am in a pickle. How am I ever going to get off of formula??? This is a touchy subject for me, just ask my husband.

Enter: the Lactation Consultant, Mary Lou. Dear woman, she was. She seemed just as perplexed by our situation as I am. However, after observing us nurse and discussing our routine we have come to a partial solution. She told me that babies really get the majority of the milk out within the first 10-15 minutes, which means the extra 15+ that I'm doing on each side are mostly just a comfort. Now, I'm all for comforting my child, but if I can cut our nursing down to half the time...I'm all for it. Other good news is that Lainie is still getting the most out of my supply even with the shield, which has been known to hinder the 'flow' if you will. So, if I pump out the extra after about a half hour of nursing that should keep my supply well stocked and keep our nursing time down to a manageable thing. 

Let me address one more thing. I have found my worry button. It seems to have grown in while I was pregnant. It's all I can do but worry about everything these days. However, I am thankful to be reminded of Jesus' words... 

Matthew 6:27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 

and then 

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

I can say these verses pretty quickly, but do I actually do what they say? Honestly? Not really. I would rather spend my time trying to solve the problem or worry myself angry. It's hard to believe that the Lord really cares about how I feel about nursing my wee babe. That He cares enough to already have a solution in mind, I'm just too busy worrying and planning to wait for it. I pray this changes in me. Otherwise, I will drive myself, my husband and my milk supply out of the house if I don't surrender this nonsense. 

So, Lord Jesus, thank you for the ability to feed my child. Thank you for the challenges it brings where I can also learn to depend on you for everything I need. Even milk. Please help me to accept our situation and if it is your will that I can eventually supply the amount she needs, please help me patiently wait for it.